The hardest part of this post is giving it a title. At a point, I felt I should post it without a title, but I just had to settle for this one. "He will hurt you, surely". What am I talking about? Discover for yourself. But I think I should have used: "Your Partner will hurt you: Surely"...anyway, that's by the way.
Back then in school, I recall giving counsels to many who had challenges in their relationship and from the feedback I get, it usually worked. This baffled me a lot then, because I never gave any of these advises from experience – you know how they say that experience is the best teacher? I cannot say that I am a vast reader or a TV person who probably would have read or watched things (other peoples experiences) that could inspire good counsel, but somehow, I was able to rise up to the occasion. I guess it is inborn (for my mind).
I use to think to myself and ask how I would end up when I finally get myself into a conscious relationship. I wondered if I would be able to advice myself and actually listen. Would I live up to my own expectations? Would I be able to reach out to more experienced people for advice on relationship matters? I was never in a haste to get myself into a relationship. So, for all that time I only could imagine how I would manage it myself.
On the long run, I think I got ready and got involved. It was a different ball game. I came to realise how easy it is to be a coach. In real life situations, it’s not about talking the talk, but walking the walk or both (am not giving you any details today **tongue out**). All my strategies were not just adequate for me and I ended up hurting her as many times as she could count – she was really counting o… God! Was it really me in that position?
We just need to keep living, no matter what. None is perfect. We can only strive for perfection, and inherent in these strives are mistakes and more mistakes, failures and disappointments no matter how much we try. It is only foolish men that dwell in the negatives of their efforts. There is always room for improvement, there is always room for making things right, there is always a room for not holding on to past mistakes but looking forward to better days ahead. It is in this room I stand. But this room has to be shared with your partner; that is the only way growth in any relationship can be achieved.
Wait o… I just observed something: you love gist a lot o…lol. See you! But its true naa (Still laughing)
Anyways, the summary of all I am trying to say is that you should have it at the back of your mind that even when he or she loves you so, he will not always live up to your expectation(s). Feel free to feel the hurt, but don’t dwell in it. Try understanding what really caused it, discuss it with him or her if you must and in all use your head and move on. Life is to short and too beautiful to remain in the state of hurts and disappointments.
P.S.: Tomi 'Molola has been absent from blogville for a while now. Who knows her whereabouts before I raise a false alarm of a missing person?