We were best of friends or so I thought until I got a job, then she started to complain; “you hardly call, every time all you do is chat, chat and chat… Facebook messenger, Watsapp and BBM”…and I am like “mmmm?” That was when it dawn on me that something was either up or wrong.
Every form of association you have with another person is a relationship. I know you agree with me there… Thank you *SmileS*. What matters in any/every relationship is the fact that it needs to be defined. In one way of the other, we all define our relationship with people. The only problem is that most of us define these relationships rather unconsciously and as such, have little or no control of the direction the relationship goes or what it becomes.
You are on holidays (say 3 months) and you decide to spend it in an uncle’s place. After a week there, you begin to mingle with your age group in your new location. After 2 - 3 weeks, you find out that you have met quite a number of people... And even more, there is a particular one that you get to spend most of your time with both physically and on social media (chatting…). Up to this point you have not had any form of discussion with this person concerning your relationship together… you just move with the flow (This is not my story; it is just an illustration ooo).
That is how I got myself more than one girlfriend at a time without realising it o. The two girls, abi three seeef, were very wonderful people in their own ways and I like a lot about them. I was being myself, free and nice to them, communicating often with them on anything and nearly everything, including their well being, family and other areas of interest. They shared some of their stories and secrets with me, and all the while I just felt that it was all ok, after all, what are friends for? (yes now...) That was how I got myself "girlfriends" without consciously “chykin” any… na wa ooo, only me! I had no clue until funny complains started coming from them - this was after my broke and lazy ass got a job. I guess that was when I put on my thinking cap and realised that in the process of being friends with these ladies and not caring to define the relationship, I had since unconsciously defined it – They were my Girl Friends. Whaaaaaat!
|Ya 'll should have a thinking cap|
I know you love to hear these stories. I have them, why hold them back and so I share them with you. I do not share them for you to judge me o. I know you will judge me anyways…lol. I share this story because of the lessons in them. If you like, get it, if you like be enjoying the stories like Nollywood home video, that’s your palava. Get the moral - that's the reason for sharing.
Define every relationship you have with people, especially those who are more closely connected to you as a result of space, circumstances, association, statues etc. You should know what you want from anyone that comes around you and this should inform who should stay or not. Friendship should not be exploitative instead, it should be beneficial to every party involved.
Good one bro. You are absolutely right.ReplyDelete
Its been a while.
I will be back
I am waiting for your 2nd coming bee... *SmileS*Delete
Am back..dont mind me.i almost thought it was ur story but I love the last paragraph mostDelete
...but Bee, what if it was my story? It is obvious you love stories. LolDelete
Hmmmm. It's always good to define a relationship consciously or unconsciously. Always draw the line between a colleague and a friend, a neighbour, etc and keep to the boundariesReplyDelete
Unconsciously kee... Mba o! You need to have your two eyes open when defining relationships o.... That's my take....mmmm. lolDelete
when i say unconsciously, i mean by all means define the relationshipDelete
I don't understand your "mmmm"
By "mmmm" I meant *thinking further on the unconsciously you mentioned*Delete
Thanks for coming back to explain further... Now I understand better.
Click to read DNB STORIES
Beautiful post Ugo!ReplyDelete
It was an interesting and educating post.
Ugo Ugo...don't lie you didn't enjoy it for a moment..i agree on your takeReplyDelete
Heheheheeeeee! That's all I can say. *Smiles*Delete
Ugo, you are spot on with this post. The truth is, girls have a way of seeing 'closeness' between themselves and a guy to mean something deeper. Not all girls though but some. Yes, we need to define our relationships at every point in our lives. That's why I define mine every step of the way, call me forward ooo but...I can't keep taking paracetamol over a self-inflicted heartbreak.ReplyDelete
You know, this is how even the boo geti boo...lolDelete
"I can't keep taking paracetamol over a self-inflicted heartbreak" ...you can say that again. Many ladies should know these things for a fact and save themselves unnecessary tears shed.
So u come go go get 3 babes Okwaya namesake.. ehh? I am suspecting u big time joor.ReplyDelete
Anyways, I feel one shouldn't get too attached and personal to a lady or guy especially when you don't want to go to the next level with them. By the time you start showing some funny funny signs, they may misinterpret it for relationship. Ugo ke kwanu.
Shea you know everyone is guilty until proven guilty... me seef, I'm suspecting you too o...lol.Delete
This showing signs in relationship when you should be discussing things can be risky o. That's one mistake many of us still make. God bless you for stopping by namesake. **SmileS** Odimma.
Hnmmmm, don't know what to say to Ugo at this moment. Let me just buliv you sha!ReplyDelete
Lol... Better bliv me sha ooo!Delete
Lol! Funny writeup. I believe in defining relationships from the onset. Its a conscious decision on my part in order to avoid misunderstandings. And if you don't have any intentions of going into a relationship with the opposite sex, its best to set boundaries in your conversations so as not to give out wrong signals to the other person.ReplyDelete
Some people naturally like challenges. When you even set your barriers, it propels them even more to come at you. It happens ooo...lolDelete
Thanks for stopping by Evita.
Eehn! Do you are one of those guys that will be doing friend friend thingz, Choi! Busted.ReplyDelete
Truth be told eehn we need to define our relationship with the opposite sex expressly I hate to imply or assume "sebi we are close, he likes me can't do a without seeing me"dats stories for the gods
Busted keee? Anyway, you are not so wrong shaa, I use to do friend things a lot o, but now I am giving myself more brains.Delete
People that assume though. SighReplyDelete
I don't even know why they like to assume seef...Delete
While not defining it and even when defined, one can be carried especially if you are enjoying the relationship.ReplyDelete
Better still define it or like the author, you may learn the hard way; which most of us have or are experiencing. Abi na lie?
No bi lie o...lol.Delete
Anonymous, you sound like someone who knows this story very well... I feel you. Thanks for stopping by. Much Love!
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