Monday 2 May 2016

I Still Love Him: Please Advice Me

I met Obi nearly three years ago. Over the years, we have come to know each other so well and what once started as chitchat every now and then grew into love. A little less than a year ago, Obi proposed to me. He loved me so much, I knew it; it was like a dream come true. He was just the perfect man of me, made from heaven and personally sent to me by the Angels.

Of course, all the necessaries before marriage began gradually and just as I thought that my journey to matrimony was going to be smooth, did it stop abruptly. My mom called me one faithful morning. She sat me down and told me of a dream she had where death separated Obi and I shortly after our wedding. My mom hardly dreams, but when she does, her dreams are not be taken lightly because previous records shows that her dreams come to pass - I don't know how. My mom cried rebuking me from continuously entertaining the thought of getting married to Obi. I was heart broken, because I least expected that my family will pose any hindrance to my marriage.
I didn’t know how to bring this to Obi, but eventually I had to because it disturbed me allot. Obi was confused. Lots of thought went through his head. Once, he even suggested that we ran away from our families and go start our lives elsewhere. I entertained some of his weird thoughts because I could not imagine life without him, but the thought of death was very scary.
In a Church programme I attended that period (about 7months now), I met a pastor who called me to warn me about a vision he saw of me and a marriage to a young man whose description fits that of Obi. That was it for me. I had to hesitantly beg for a separation, the hardest decision I had ever made my whole life. Still wondering on how to deal with it while I tried, Obi kept reaching out to me. He wanted us to still carryon with the Marriage against all odds. I was scared. I love him, I wish we could be together for ever without a marriage or any of its ceremonies.
Days turned into weeks and my world shattered. I wasn’t going to marry Obi. His world equally went downside-up. We tried consoling ourselves on phone, but that was more to us torture. Obi was really broken I could tell. Between him and I, I don’t know who fared better? Now, Ruth my best friend volunteered to help me console Obi. I sanctioned it because I feared he would harm himself. After about a week or two, Obi started sounding more stable, this gladdened me. I thanked Ruth and told her to stop.
It’s been about 5 months since these incidents happened and I have not been able to date any other guy since then. Very recently discovered that ever since, Ruth never stopped talking or seeing Obi. She only stopped mentioning her encounters with Obi. I discovered that anytime we were gisting and I mentioned Obi’s name, she reacted somehow. I began to suspect and summoned courage to ask her; she tried denying and admitted eventually. Obi would have told me, had we still been communicating, but for a while now we have not been in contact. He had since stopped calling me and picking my calls, he even deleted/blocked my contacts from every social media platform we shared. I am presently mad at my friend.

I don’t know what to do. I still love Obi ooo. Even if I can’t marry him, I can’t stand knowing that my own best friend Ruth has anything to do with him. It’s painful that she even continued seeing him behind my back. I hate to think the worst... I just hate everything right now. If only my mom did not have that dream; if only the pastor did not warn me too. I have been crying since my recent discovery, my head/life is scattered. I don’t just know what to do, please advice me.

PS. I have tried to advice this lady, but this is not necessarily my area of specialty, so with her permission, I bring it to you. Please advice her as reasonably as possible.


  1. You should be lucky that you have the opportunity to be warned some didn't and became widow at a very early age btw you didn't state if you personally had a conviction from God to marry him. Please pick your life together and pray to meet your hubby..

  2. My dear, never tell a friend, no matter how close you are to her- to talk to your boyfriend or fiancé on your behalf....never! Even if you don't end up with Obi, it's bearable to think that he's with someone else and not someone you once called a friend.
    Now to my advice... dreams are very complex yet very simple. The first thing you should have done once your mother had that dream was to talk to Obi about seeing a pastor, priest or prophet who can help you with prayers. I believe that dreams come for a reason and that it could be a warning of some sort and not necessarily just a revelation.

    I have had a dream that something really bad happened and I prayed against it and it didn't happen- the lesson is, pray against whatever evil is revealed to you in a dream and watch God destroy the evil. God was showing it to your mom to enable you seek His face on the matter.
    I am a dreamer- and when I mean dreamer, I am one of those people who dream and it happens...but sometimes, even the clearest of all my dreams happen in the opposite direction.

    What I expect you to do now is, call Obi...infact look for how to reach him and tell him that you want the both of you to look for a solution to the matter. Because the God that revealed the dream wouldn't have revealed it if there were no solutions available. Go to him, talk to him and pray with him. Ask God for a revelation and watch Him act.
    It is well.

    1. You've won my heart with this advice. Couldn't have said it any better.

  3. Adaeze's advice is so on point!

  4. Pray about it's.Don'tt worry about your friend,it showed who she really is.