Realising the Pain of Love

In that faithful year when I was called to serve my fatherland in the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) scheme, I fell in love and for once, love was so real that I had no doubts whatsoever about what I felt. My apologies to my past; I cannot deny that I never met good “girl” friends prior to my NYSC days, neither can I wash down the attributes that makes them special, but somehow, they never swept me off my feet.

I have been present in discussions, where relationships by Corps members came up. The very usual conclusion is that these relationships most often never extend beyond the service year. Various reasons being sighted for this. The one that holds ground the most is that service year is a period of adventure for Corps members, and relationships are part of the major characteristics of that adventure. Most Corps members fallout of love towards the end of their service year or shortly afterwards. This may not be a proven fact, but there are many instances and confessions of people that backup this motion. ...but I still fell in Love during my service year.

Till this moment, I still can’t verily describe what it means to fall in love. At the times you fall in love, you just know it and your heart begins to speak many words. The period is characterised with pleasant feelings, feeling that you would cherish for a long time. And then, I realised that falling in love is just the start point in a prospective romantic relationship. How does the journey go?

When you fall in love, do you remain in love and for how long? Love is a beautiful thing, I must admit. But how beautiful can true love be. Love has brought me great worries and fears. It has brought pain to my heart. Trust, loyalty and respect from my girl (the one I love), have been questioned. It was never all rosy. Taking a look at my experiences, I wonder how our parents made it, because somehow the pains don’t seem to ever disappear.

Love is likened to life. What is the cost of bringing forth life? She carries life in her womb for 9 months and she is the only one that can tell the story. On the 9^th month, she finally brings forth life into the world and it is a story of pains (mothers know that story better). It is only after the pains that the joy of life comes. True love is never devoid of pains, just as life is not a bed of Roses. Hard times will come and pose a test to that relationship. Do you give up on love at that point and breakup or separate with your partner? Realise that no matter the depth of the love that exist between two people, it cannot be bereft of pains (or challenges, depending on how you want to put it). In-fact the more the Love; the more the pains experienced.

The great teacher, Christ, thought us that the summit of love is ones willingness to die for a friend (John 15: 12-14). He practiced this by giving up his life on the Cross for us, amidst the sufferings and anguish that came his way. The Cross, now a symbol of love should comfort us in that pain we feel as we express our love to another.

I have seen pain (maybe not as compared as you), I have felt dejection and rejection, I have had my ego wounded and so on… and I feel them more when I love and love even more. This is a true story of a person that loves. Knowing that there is no guarantee for the Sea to stay still through a sail should not deter you from sailing, instead, it should prepare you for the turbulence and storms for surely you must move on to your destination.