Tuesday 24 January 2017

My Girlfriend is not my Best Friend

I have had this friend for over two years now and I can say that over the years, we have grown to know ourselves so well that I can boast of her as my best friend.

Best friend?

I was even thinking I would write “girlfriend”, considering that I am a guy and we are so close. Now I am thinking there is a problem. Who really is she to me? What is our level of friendship (or do I say relationship)? Why do I sound confused about my status with her? I guess me by myself, have pushed myself to a tight corner and I have to figure a safe way out. Funnily, without even proclaiming her as my girlfriend, my friends and family who have met her thinks she is… even when I try to correct the notion, they tell me to keep deceiving myself.
This issue is not peculiar to me. It is commonly discussed too when matters bothering on relationship is brought up. But have we ever gotten an answer that really helps? I am talking from the perspective of one who is involved at the moment. 
How do we really handle friendship with the opposite sex?
I personally feel that we should live our lives consciously. If we do, it will help a lot. Things bring us together and somehow, friendship with a person starts (I am still making reference to the opposite sex). Do you really know when you start the journey through the path of friendship with that person? You should. If you don’t, take a pause and review the times you have spent knowing that person. The journey through should be intentional… this ways you would not take your actions for granted; neither would you take the other person too for granted. I say this because this is the only way you can really know where you are heading to in that journey through friendship.
I wonder how two people of opposite sex end up as best friend. Is it possible? Lol… see my nonsense question as if it is not my story too. But really, how does it work? Lols. I have noticed that people that get to this point usually get there not knowing how it happened.
…so she is my best friend, but I have recently met a girl whom I think I really like and want to date. Now it feels all weird. Somehow I feel that my best friend would feel hurt when she discovers this. I would tell her anyway. It’s not like I don’t care about her feelings, but I am wondering why she would feel hurt or even jealous in the first place - something is wrong… and it gets more complicated by the day. What have I done?
I can go on and on, but let me land my thoughts here in conclusion.
Personally, I feel it's not a great idea having a person of the opposite sex as a best friend if you are not considering having her/him as your significant half whether for a romantic relationship or even marriage. This is not to say that you shouldn't have the opposite sex as a great friend (don't get me wrong ooo).

Reactions please…


  1. 😂 I feel my best friend can be the opposite sex. Most female confide in them and feel their secret is safe with them. We can be best friends and do not have feelings for each other bt we always have each other's back all the time. I don't see why my best friend would love some one else and he thinks I will get hurt, NO! Instead I should be happy for him. Having the opposite sex as your best friend to me is ok. Nice write up. Lol

  2. Smiles... Ugo Egwumba... Ur best friend can be of d opposite sex.. But u see, there is always d problem of not defining ur rship status from d onset. This shld be done both in words, action and otherwise. If one does, then it shouldnt be a problem to me.. If eventually both decide to take d rship to another level.. The there is a room for common understanding and if its going d other way round.,there would be no room for hurt bcos of d understanding also.. So Ugo... Wateva happens better u and ur best friend, a nice discussion will do to resolve it... Then live ur life.. Smiles.. Weldone oo

  3. This my pikin is so funny.
    When we yarn for whatsapp. we go discuss the matter.

  4. A best friend could be any sex mate! Few weeks ago my supposed girlfriend said had we not have had sex, we would have been best friends(lmao). I also got a best friend request from another female simply because she enjoyed conversing with me. I think its expected to have more best friends (if the title fits more than one) that are the opposite sex but feelings creep in and many times ruin it. My thoughts though........

  5. Hmmm...Ugo. The thing is, sometimes we have best friends of the opposite sex and feel it's all platonic when in actual sense, they have harboured feelings for us. I wish you luck in telling your best friend about your new girl. I hope it goes well.

  6. in this case the relationship must be expressly defined and not impliedly assumed!.who on earth will want her partner to have a best friend in the opposite sex,ko joor